Today is the day. I am waiting in line to vote at a local elementary school. Last night my fight or flight instincts were telling me to pack up my family and run. It wasn’t until after I read a recent article written by a woman who was sexually abused that I realized where my anger, hate, and fear are coming from. This fear is not only perpetuated by the racist and misogynist remarks made by Trump, it’s also coming from deep inside. The man running for president is forcing me to relive memories that I had successfully worked through. As if his racist comments weren’t enough, the thought of this man being the leader of our country literally stops me in my tracks. It has put me in a fog because I quite literally can’t stop thinking about it. Sure, I live happily alongside my husband and sweet baby boy but the idea of Trump being president is always, yes always, on my mind. This election feels different because it is different. In the past, I had a strong interest in the outcome of elections, knowing how it would affect me. In the end though, I knew that the morning after election day, I would continue to live my simple life, happily and content. My feelings leading up to tomorrow and the days after are completely new to me. I am invested. I have been researching, planning, and thinking. I have been thinking hard about how I am going to continue living my life and how my husband and I are going to raise our son in this country if Trump is elected. I don’t know the answer and that’s what scares me the most. I can’t plan for this because I never fathomed that I had to prepare for something like this, for the potential ruler of the country I call home to be this kind of person and illicit these hateful feelings inside of me. How did it get this far? Where do we go from here? My soul searching will continue…